Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a ESV
Love isn’t rude. I looked up “rude” in my dictionary and found discourteous, impolite, uncivil or insulting. In other words, Love minds its manners. But I think there’s a little more to this. The Hebrew word translated “not arrogant or rude” here is also translated “behave rudely,” “behave unbecomingly,” or “dishonor others” in other versions (NKJV, NASB, and NIV, respectively). Putting this all together, I get a much broader understanding: Love behaves in a way that honors others and is appropriate (seemly) for whatever the situation is.
How does God show this side of love?
I think again of Jesus’ example. He honored the law of the land while He was here on earth. Remember the coin in the fish for the temple tax, as well as render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s? (See Matthew 22, Mark 12, or Luke 20 to read about this incident.) He also honored people’s choice to reject Him. Think of all the Pharisees and the scribes who argued with Him. He presented them with the truth, but never forced them to accept it. He does the same with everybody. He wants all to come to repentance and doesn’t what anybody to go to hell (2 Peter 3:9), but He allows us to choose to reject Him, even though it breaks His heart.
After we become Christians, God continues to honor our choices, even when we are disobedient. He lets us stumble along, not forcing us to follow Him. He allows the difficulties and trials that often result from poor choices.
How is this love? Wouldn’t it be more loving to never allow bad things to happen to His children? If you have children in your life, you know the answer to this: if you protect children from ever making bad choices, they will never learn from their mistakes. When they become adults, they won’t be equipped to go out on their own.
God is a good Father and He knows that we need to experience difficulties so that we can grow up and mature in our faith. Life would be much easier if I weren’t allowed to make wrong decisions and never had any of the resulting difficulties, but what would I learn from that? That’s why James and Peter tell us to be joyful when we have trials. These means that God loves us and cares that we grow up in our faith.
And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? "My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him.
For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives." - Hebrews 12:5-6 ESV
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. - James 1:2-4 ESV
Think About: How have you grown from the trials that God has allowed in your life?
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